Anthony Lilles Archives

BTP10 – Heaven In Faith: Day 5 Prayer 2 by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode 10 – “Heaven in Faith” Day 5 Prayer 2 – “He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood, remains in Me and I in him.”

In this episode, Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor discuss the profound eucharistic themes in Elizabeth’s reflections, emphasizing the transformative power of receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. Elizabeth portrays this communion as an intimate exchange where Christ’s love and generosity invite us to surrender fully, allowing Him to purify and consume our beings with His grace and presence.

Dr. Lilles highlights the significance of preparing oneself for receiving Holy Communion, engaging deeply with the liturgy, and being open to the transformative encounter with Christ’s presence. He also connects this to the broader spiritual life, illustrating how our union with Christ in the Eucharist fuels our capacity to love and give of ourselves in all aspects of life.

The discussion reveals how Elizabeth sees this communion with Christ as a pathway to experiencing the burning desires of His heart, urging us to open ourselves entirely to His love. This experience of divine love in the Eucharist is portrayed as an empowering source that enables us to face life’s challenges and to love others with Christ’s own love. Through this intimate union, we are called to become vibrant witnesses of Christ’s love, transforming our lives and drawing others into this mystery of divine intimacy and grace.

From “Heaven in Faith: Day 5 Prayer 2”:

Second prayer. “He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood, remains in Me and I in him.” “The first sign of love is this: that Jesus has given us His flesh to eat and His blood to drink.” “The property of love is to be always giving and always receiving. Now the love” of Christ is “generous. All that He has, all that He is, He gives; all that we have, all that we are, He takes away. He asks for more than we of ourselves are capable of giving. He has an immense hunger which wants to devour us absolutely. He enters even into the marrow of our bones, and the more lovingly we allow Him to do so, the more fully we savor Him.” “He knows that we are poor, but He pays no heed to it and does not spare us. He Himself becomes in us His own bread, first burning up, in His love, all our vices, faults, and sins. Then when He sees that we are pure, He comes like a gaping vulture that is going to devour everything. He wants to consume our life in order to change it into His own; ours, full of vices, His, full of grace and glory and all prepared for us, if only we will renounce ourselves. Even if our eyes were good enough to see this avid appetite of Christ who hungers for our salvation, all our efforts would not prevent us from disappearing into His open mouth.” Now “this sounds absurd, but those who love will understand!” When we receive Christ “with interior devotion, His blood, full of warmth and glory, flows into our veins and a fire is enkindled in our depths.” “We receive the likeness of His virtues, and He lives in us and we in Him. He gives us His soul with the fullness of grace, by which the soul perseveres in love and praise of the Father!” “Love draws its object into itself; we draw Jesus into ourselves; Jesus draws us into Himself. Then carried above ourselves into love’s interior,” seeking God, “we go to meet Him, to meet His Spirit, which is His love, and this love burns us, consumes us, and draws us into unity where beatitude awaits us.” “Jesus meant this when He said: ‘With great desire have I desired to eat this pasch with you.’”

Elizabeth of the Trinity. The Complete Works of Elizabeth of the Trinity, vol. 1 (featuring a General Introduction and Major Spiritual Writings) (Elizabeth of the Trinity Complete Work) (pp. 9100-101). ICS Publications. Kindle Edition.

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

Understanding Eucharistic Theology: How does Saint Elizabeth of the Trinity describe the relationship between Christ’s presence in the Eucharist and the believer’s transformation? Reflect on the reciprocal nature of this relationship. Discuss the implications of viewing Holy Communion as a transformative encounter with Christ’s love and presence.
Personal Reflection on the Eucharist: How does the episode challenge you to prepare for and participate in Holy Communion more fully and consciously? In what ways can you deepen your understanding and appreciation of the Eucharist as the source and summit of the Christian life?
Connecting Eucharistic Life to Everyday Living: How can the transformative experience of the Eucharist influence your relationships and daily actions? Reflect on the statement that Jesus “yearns for our love” and “aches to be loved by us.” How does this influence your perception of the Eucharist and your relationship with Christ?
Mystical and Theological Insights: Discuss the significance of Saint Elizabeth’s emphasis on the Eucharist as an encounter that consumes and purifies the believer, transforming them into an icon of Christ’s love. How does the Eucharistic theology presented by Dr. Lilles and Kris McGregor deepen your understanding of Christ’s sacrifice and continual presence in the Church?
Practical Application: After listening to the episode, identify one practical step you can take to enhance your preparation for and participation in the Eucharist. Share this with a group member or write it down as a personal commitment. Consider how you might help others in your community to grow in their understanding and reverence for the Eucharist. What actions or discussions could you initiate?
Connecting with Scripture: Reflect on the scriptural basis of the Eucharistic themes discussed in the episode. How do the words of Christ at the Last Supper and other relevant scripture passages deepen your understanding of the Eucharist?

We would like to thank Miriam Gutierrez for providing “the voice” of St. Elizabeth for this series

For other episodes in the series visit the Discerning Hearts page for Dr. Anthony Lilles

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D., has served the Church and assisted in the formation of clergy and seminarians since 1994. Before coming to St. Patrick’s, he served at seminaries and houses of formation in the Archdiocese of Denver and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. The son of a California farmer, married with young adult children, holds a B.A. in theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville with both the ecclesiastical licentiate and doctorate in spiritual theology from the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas in Rome (the Angelicum). An expert in the writings of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity and the Carmelite Doctors of the Church, he co-founded the Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation and the High Calling Program for priestly vocations. He also founded the John Paul II Center for Contemplative Culture, which hosts symposiums, retreats, and conferences. In addition to his publications, he blogs at www.beginningtopray.com .

BTP9 Heaven In Faith: Day 5 Prayer 1 by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode 9 – “Heaven in Faith” Day 5 Prayer 1 – “Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock”

In this episode, Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor continue their discussion on the spiritual teachings of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, focusing on the concept of being calmly lost in God’s will. Dr. Lilles tells us of the importance of trust in God’s plan, even in times of confusion or darkness.

They explore the idea that prayer is a gift from God, and that experiences in prayer are beyond human comprehension, as well as the need for openness to God’s presence and the transformative power of welcoming Jesus into one’s heart.

Dr. Lilles also touches on the expansion of the heart through prayer, leading to deeper love and devotion to God, and encourages listeners to embrace prayer as a means of drawing closer to God and experiencing His love.

From “Heaven in Faith: Day 5 Prayer 1”:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man listens to My voice and opens the door to Me, I will come in to him and sup with him, and he with Me.”66 Blessed the ears of the soul alert enough, recollected enough to hear this voice of the Word of God; blessed also the eyes67 of this soul which in the light of a deep and living faith can witness the “coming” of the Master into His intimate sanctuary. But what then is this coming? “It is an unceasing generation, an enduring hymn of praise.” Christ “comes with His treasures, but such is the mystery of the divine swiftness that He is continually coming, always for the first time as if He had never come; for His coming, independent of time, consists in an eternal “now,”68 and an eternal desire eternally renews the joys of the coming. The delights that He brings are infinite, since they are Himself.” “The capacity of the soul, enlarged by the coming of the Master, seems to go out of itself in order to pass through the walls into the immensity of Him who comes; and a phenomenon occurs: God, who is in our depths, receives God coming to us, and God contemplates God! God in whom beatitude consists.”69

Elizabeth of the Trinity. The Complete Works of Elizabeth of the Trinity, vol. 1 (featuring a General Introduction and Major Spiritual Writings) (Elizabeth of the Trinity Complete Work) (pp. 99-100). ICS Publications. Kindle Edition.

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

Trusting God’s Plan: How does the concept of being calmly lost in God’s will challenge our natural inclination towards anxiety and fear when faced with uncertainty?
Understanding Prayer as a Gift: Reflect on the idea that prayer is a gift from God. How does this perspective change our approach to prayer and our expectations of what prayer should entail?
Welcoming Jesus into the Heart: In what ways can we actively welcome Jesus into our hearts, especially during times of confusion or difficulty? How does this practice align with the teachings of Elizabeth of the Trinity?
Experiencing God’s Presence: Consider the various ways in which individuals experience God’s presence in prayer. How can we recognize and appreciate these experiences, even when they may not conform to our preconceived notions?
Expanding the Heart through Prayer: Reflect on the idea that prayer can enlarge the capacity of our hearts to love, receive love, and give love. How has prayer transformed your capacity for love and devotion to God?
Living Out the Gift of Prayer: Evaluate whether your life reflects the fruits of prayer, such as deeper love for others and increased devotion to God. How can you continue to nurture and cultivate the gift of prayer in your life?

We would like to thank Miriam Gutierrez for providing “the voice” of St. Elizabeth for this series

For other episodes in the series visit the Discerning Hearts page for Dr. Anthony Lilles

BTP8 Heaven In Faith: Day 4 Prayer 2 by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode 8 – “Heaven in Faith” Day 4 Prayer 2 – “I Have Come to Cast Fire Upon the Earth”

In this episode, Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor focus on prayer and Christian living, particularly the messages from St. Elizabeth of the Trinity and St. Thérèse of Lisieux. The core theme revolves around the concept of love as the essence of Christian prayer and life, emphasizing the need for a soul’s complete surrender to God’s will. It highlights how such surrender leads to a genuine conversion, growing deeper into love and allowing God’s love to transform and guide one’s life.

Elizabeth’s teachings encourage contemplation on God’s love, urging individuals, including those engaged in worldly duties like parenting, to align every aspect of their life with love. This alignment, they reason, fulfills God’s desire to elevate the soul, making love the central occupation, regardless of life’s distractions or responsibilities.

Dr. Lilles further delves into the notion of embracing God’s will, especially during trials or confrontations, advocating for a response rooted in love and mercy rather than self-defense or retaliation. Both Dr. Lilles and Kris touch on the lives of saints to exemplify how enduring silence and suffering out of love can manifest grace and spiritual growth, ultimately leading to a profound trust in God.

This episode underscores a life of deep faith characterized by the surrender to and trust in God’s will, living through love and mercy, and maintaining a constant focus on spiritual growth and communion with God.

Day 4: Second Prayer

“I have come to cast fire upon the earth and how I long to see it burn.”58 It is the Master Himself who expresses His desire to see the fire of love enkindled. In fact, “all our works and all our labors are nothing in His sight. We can neither give Him anything nor satisfy His only desire, which is to exalt the dignity of our soul.” Nothing pleases Him so much as to see it “grow.” “Now nothing can exalt it so much as to become in some way the equal of God; that is why He demands from the soul the tribute of its love, as the property of love is to make the lover equal to the beloved as much as possible. The soul in possession of this love” “appears on an equal footing with Christ because their mutual affection renders everything common to both.”59 “I have called you My friends because all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”60 16.

But to attain to this love the soul must first be “entirely surrendered,”61 its “will must be calmly lost in God’s will”62 so that its “inclinations,” “its faculties” “move only in this love and for the sake of this love. I do everything with love, I suffer everything with love: this is what David meant when he sang, ‘I will keep all my strength for You.’”63 Then “love fills it so completely, absorbs it and protects it” so well “that everywhere it finds the secret of growing in love,” “even in its relations with the world”;64 “in the midst of life’s cares it can rightly say: ‘My only occupation is loving’! . . .”65

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

Understanding Surrender to God’s Will
How do you interpret the concept of total surrender to God’s will in your daily activities, and what challenges do you face in achieving it?
Living by Love in Everyday Life
Reflect on how the idea of making love your central life occupation is present in your interactions, responsibilities, and trials.
Responding with Love and Mercy
Evaluate your typical reactions to adversity or offense and consider how you might foster a more loving and merciful approach.
Experiencing Transformative Love
Recall instances where you have felt or observed love’s transformative power and its effects on those involved.
Valuing God’s Esteem Over Self-Esteem
Contemplate how prioritizing God’s view over self-esteem influences your perception of dignity, worth, and humility.
Learning from Saints’ Silence and Suffering
Relate to the spiritual practice of enduring silence and suffering for love, drawing inspiration from saintly examples.
Offering Misery to God
Reflect on how you perceive and present your own brokenness to God and the role it plays in your spiritual intimacy.
Prayer Aligned with Christian Love
Consider adjustments to align your prayer life more closely with the Christian principle of living through love.
Practicing Perpetual Acts of Mercy
Identify ways to integrate continuous acts of mercy into your daily interactions and choices.
Deepening Trust in God Amidst Adversity
Reflect on how to cultivate a deeper trust in God to maintain peace and resilience through life’s challenges.

We would like to thank Miriam Gutierrez for providing “the voice” of St. Elizabeth for this series

For other episodes in the series visit the Discerning Hearts page for Dr. Anthony Lilles

BTP1 Heaven In Faith Day 1 Prayer 1 by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity – Beginning to Pray w/ Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Episode 1 Beginning to Pray: “Heaven in Faith” Day 1 Prayer 1 – “Remain in Me”

The podcast episode one, hosted by Kris McGregor with Dr. Anthony Lilles, delves into “Heaven in Faith” retreat by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity. Dr. Lilles, an expert on Carmelite spirituality, highlights the significance of St. Elizabeth Of The Trinity, a Carmelite mystic from Dijon, who emphasized deep prayer and a transforming encounter with Christ as accessible to all Catholics. St. Elizabeth’s retreat, intended for her sister, is a guide to fostering a profound, personal relationship with God through prayer, consisting of daily reflections for contemplation.

St. John Paul II, notably influenced by Elizabeth, exemplifies her wide-reaching impact, showcasing her role in deepening the spiritual lives of many, including his own. Despite limited access to the full Bible, Elizabeth’s reflections demonstrate a profound scriptural engagement, akin to Lectio Divina, showcasing her deep understanding and integration of scripture into her reflections on prayer and communion with God.

Central to Elizabeth’s first reflection is the depiction of Jesus’ desire for us to be in communion with Him and the Father, highlighting the personal, relational aspect of prayer. Elizabeth articulates that experiencing heaven, or living in communion with God, isn’t confined to the afterlife but begins in the present through faith and prayer. She stresses the universal call to holiness, asserting that all Christians, regardless of their life circumstances, are invited to share in this communion with God, achievable through prioritizing prayer in their lives.

This episode sets the stage for a series that promises to explore the depths of Carmelite spirituality and the profound insights of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity on prayer, communion with God, and the pursuit of holiness in everyday life.

Day 1 First Prayer

1. “Father, I will that where I am they also whom You have given Me may be with Me, in order that they may behold My glory which You have given Me, because You have loved Me before the creation of the world.” 1 Such is Christ’s last wish, His supreme prayer before returning to His Father. He wills that where He is we should be also, not only for eternity, but already in time, which is eternity begun and still in progress. It is important then to know where we must live with Him in order to realize His divine dream. “The place where the Son of God is hidden is the bosom of the Father, or the divine Essence, invisible to every mortal eye, unattainable by every human intellect,” 2 as Isaiah said: “Truly You are a hidden God.” 3 And yet His will is that we should be established in Him, that we should live where He lives, in the unity of love; that we should be, so to speak, His own shadow. 4

2. By baptism, says St. Paul, we have been united to Jesus Christ. 5 And again: “God seated us together in Heaven in Christ Jesus, that He might show in the ages to come the riches of His grace.” 6 And further on: “You are no longer guests or strangers, but you belong to the City of saints and the House of God.” 7 The Trinity— this is our dwelling, our “home,” the Father’s house that we must never leave. The Master said one day: “The slave does not remain with the household forever, but the son 8 remains there forever” (St. John). 9

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

How does St. Elizabeth of the Trinity’s understanding of prayer challenge your current approach to prayer and relationship with God?
Reflect on the idea that heaven is not just a future state but an experience accessible in the present through faith and prayer. How does this perspective shift your view of daily life and spiritual practice?
St. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of scripture in deepening our relationship with God, even without full access to the Bible. How can you more fully integrate scripture into your prayer life to foster a closer communion with God?
Considering Jesus’ desire for communion with us, as highlighted by St. Elizabeth, how might you respond more fully to this desire in your own life of faith and prayer?
St. Elizabeth’s reflections were intended to guide her sister, a busy mother, in deepening her spiritual life. How does this speak to the possibility of profound spiritual depth amidst the busyness of your daily responsibilities?

We would like to thank Miriam Gutierrez for providing “the voice” of St. Elizabeth for this series

For other episodes in the series visit the Discerning Hearts page for Dr. Anthony Lilles

BTP-LOT14 – The Journey of Prayer – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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The Journey of Prayer – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor discuss the transformative journey of prayer as experienced and taught by St. Teresa of Avila. Dr. Lilles highlights St. Teresa’s autobiographical work as not just a recount of her life but as an instructional guide on the spiritual journey toward deeper communion with God through prayer.

St. Teresa’s teachings emphasize the progression through different stages or degrees of prayer, which she explores more deeply in her masterpiece, “The Interior Castle.” This progression reflects a soul’s journey from initial efforts in prayer, characterized by personal exertion and devotion, towards the profound experiences of mystical prayer, where God takes the initiative and intimately unites with the soul.

The focus of this episode is on St. Teresa’s use of vivid metaphors, like drawing water from a well and the soul as a garden, to describe the nurturing of spiritual virtues through prayer. These stages of prayer, from vocal and meditative prayer to the more advanced states of recollection, quiet, and ultimately union with God, are accessible to all baptized Christians as part of their spiritual heritage and call to holiness.

Dr. Lilles also addresses common challenges and misconceptions about spiritual progress, emphasizing the importance of humility, confidence in God’s grace, and openness to the transformative power of divine love. He encourages listeners to engage deeply with St. Teresa’s writings and to recognize the universal call to a profound spiritual life grounded in prayer.

This episode serves as a compelling invitation to deepen one’s prayer life by following the path laid out by St. Teresa of Avila, understanding prayer not just as a practice but as a journey of love, transformation, and intimate union with God.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

How does St. Teresa of Avila’s metaphor of drawing water from a well resonate with your own prayer life and efforts to nurture spiritual virtues?
Reflect on the progression from vocal prayer to mystical prayer in your life. Have you experienced moments where you felt God was taking the initiative in your prayer?
St. Teresa emphasizes humility in prayer. How do you understand humility in the context of your spiritual journey, and how can you cultivate a more humble approach to God?
Consider the metaphor of the soul as a garden. What ‘flowers’ or virtues are you currently watering through your prayer, and what steps can you take to cultivate them more fully?
St. Teresa describes different stages of prayer, including the prayer of quiet and union with God. Have you encountered these states in your prayer life, and how have they transformed your relationship with God?
Reflect on the challenges and barriers you face in deepening your prayer life. How can St. Teresa’s teachings help you overcome these obstacles and grow in intimacy with God?
Prayer is both a personal journey and a way to draw closer to the community of the Church. How does your prayer life connect you with the wider Church, and how can you use your experiences to support and encourage others in their spiritual journeys?

An excerpt from Chapter 11, discussed in this episode:

“I speak now of those who begin to be the servants of love; that seems to me to be nothing else but to resolve to follow Him in the way of prayer, who has loved us so much. It is a dignity so great, that I have a strange joy in thinking of it; for servile fear vanishes at once, if we are, as we ought to be, in the first degree. O Lord of my soul, and my good, how is it that, when a soul is determined to love Thee—doing all it can, by forsaking all things, in order that it may the better occupy itself with the love of God—it is not Thy will it should have the joy of ascending at once to the possession of perfect love? I have spoken amiss; I ought to have said, and my complaint should have been, why is it we do not? for the fault is wholly our own that we do not rejoice at once in a dignity so great, seeing that the attaining to the perfect possession of this true love brings all blessings with it.

We think so much of ourselves, and are so dilatory in giving ourselves wholly to God, that, as His Majesty will not let us have the fruition of that which is so precious but at a great cost, so neither do we perfectly prepare ourselves for it. I see plainly that there is nothing by which so great a good can be procured in this world. If, however, we did what we could, not clinging to anything upon earth, but having all our thoughts and conversation in Heaven, I believe that this blessing would quickly be given us, provided we perfectly prepared ourselves for it at once, as some of the saints have done. We think we are giving all to God; but, in fact, we are offering only the revenue or the produce, while we retain the fee-simple of the land in our own possession.

We resolve to become poor, and it is a resolution of great merit; but we very often take great care not to be in want, not simply of what is necessary, but of what is superfluous: yea, and to make for ourselves friends who may supply us; and in this way we take more pains, and perhaps expose ourselves to greater danger, in order that we may want nothing, than we did formerly, when we had our own possessions in our own power.”

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT13 – The Journey of Prayer – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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The Journey of Prayer – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor discuss chapters 9-11 in St. Teresa’s autobiography. In them, St. Teresa explores the degrees of prayer, moving from ascetical prayer to mystical prayer. She reflects on struggles, the importance of renewing the gift of prayer, and introduces the idea of the prayer of quiet as a mystical gift from God. Dr. Lilles observes she makes use of an analogy to a garden, meant to highlight the transformative journey.

The discussion underscores the boldness and courage required in following the Lord and the need to find a sacred place of prayer, especially in challenging times.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

Degrees of Prayer: How does St. Teresa of Avila transition from describing her life before conversion to exploring the different degrees of prayer in chapters 9-11?
Struggles in Prayer: What struggles does Teresa face in her prayer life, particularly in chapter 9, and how does she overcome discouragement?
Obedience in Sharing Mystical Prayer: Why does Teresa express reluctance to talk about the mystical prayer of quiet, and how does she connect it to obedience?
Analogies for Prayer: How does Teresa use analogies, such as the garden metaphor, to explain the importance of devotion and personal engagement in prayer?
Transformation in Prayer: Discuss the transformative journey from ascetical prayer to mystical prayer as Teresa introduces the prayer of quiet in chapter 10.
Boldness and Courage: Why is boldness and courage emphasized in the context of following the Lord, drawing parallels with other saints like St. Augustine?
Finding a Sacred Place: In challenging times, why is it crucial, according to Dr. Lilles, to find a sacred place of prayer and trust in God’s love and mercy?

An excerpt from Chapter 11, discussed in this episode:

“I speak now of those who begin to be the servants of love; that seems to me to be nothing else but to resolve to follow Him in the way of prayer, who has loved us so much. It is a dignity so great, that I have a strange joy in thinking of it; for servile fear vanishes at once, if we are, as we ought to be, in the first degree. O Lord of my soul, and my good, how is it that, when a soul is determined to love Thee—doing all it can, by forsaking all things, in order that it may the better occupy itself with the love of God—it is not Thy will it should have the joy of ascending at once to the possession of perfect love? I have spoken amiss; I ought to have said, and my complaint should have been, why is it we do not? for the fault is wholly our own that we do not rejoice at once in a dignity so great, seeing that the attaining to the perfect possession of this true love brings all blessings with it.

We think so much of ourselves, and are so dilatory in giving ourselves wholly to God, that, as His Majesty will not let us have the fruition of that which is so precious but at a great cost, so neither do we perfectly prepare ourselves for it. I see plainly that there is nothing by which so great a good can be procured in this world. If, however, we did what we could, not clinging to anything upon earth, but having all our thoughts and conversation in Heaven, I believe that this blessing would quickly be given us, provided we perfectly prepared ourselves for it at once, as some of the saints have done. We think we are giving all to God; but, in fact, we are offering only the revenue or the produce, while we retain the fee-simple of the land in our own possession.

We resolve to become poor, and it is a resolution of great merit; but we very often take great care not to be in want, not simply of what is necessary, but of what is superfluous: yea, and to make for ourselves friends who may supply us; and in this way we take more pains, and perhaps expose ourselves to greater danger, in order that we may want nothing, than we did formerly, when we had our own possessions in our own power.”

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT12 – Saints Inspiring Saints – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Saints Inspiring Saints – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 9 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography in part two of a two-part episode, going into further detail about a profound moment in the life of St. Teresa of Avila, where she reflects on her own spiritual journey and draws parallels with St. Augustine’s conversion.

From that, Dr. Lilles talks about the interconnectedness of saints, and how they highlight the importance of witnessing, continuous conversion, and not seeking consolations in prayer. He also discusses the importance of seeking God with a pure heart, renouncing sin, and being actively receptive to God’s gifts in and during contemplative prayer.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

Reflecting on Transformative Moments: How do transformative moments in the lives of saints, such as St. Teresa’s encounter with a statue of Jesus, inspire and guide our own spiritual journey?
Influence of Saints on Spiritual Lineage: Consider the idea of saints influencing one another, forming a spiritual lineage. How does this interconnectedness impact the broader Christian community and individual believers?
The Role of Witnessing in Faith: Explore the significance of witnessing in the faith journey. How can sharing personal experiences of conversion and grace inspire and support others in their spiritual growth?
Conversion as a Continuous Journey: Reflect on the concept of continuous conversion presented in the episode. How does this perspective challenge or complement the understanding of spiritual growth in your own life?
Balancing Emotions and Grace in Prayer: How can one strike a balance between seeking emotional consolations in prayer and actively focusing on maintaining a clear conscience, turning away from sin, and being receptive to God’s grace?
Contemplative Graces in Prayer: Consider the beauty of contemplative graces and the notion of being actively receptive to God’s gifts in prayer. How can fostering an actively receptive disposition enhance your prayer life?
Seeking God with a Pure Heart: Reflect on the importance of seeking God with a pure heart, as discussed in the episode. How might this focus influence your approach to prayer, relationship with God, and the journey of faith?

An excerpt from Chapter 9, discussed in this episode:

“At this time, the Confessions of St. Augustine were given me. Our Lord seems to have so ordained it, for I did not seek them myself, neither had I ever seen them before. I had a very great devotion to St. Augustine, because the monastery in which I lived when I was yet in the world was of his Order; and also because he had been a sinner—for I used to find great comfort in those Saints whom, after they had sinned, our Lord converted to Himself. I thought they would help me, and that, as our Lord had forgiven them, so also He would forgive me. One thing, however, there was that troubled me—I have spoken of it before—our Lord had called them but once, and they never relapsed; while my relapses were now so many. This it was that vexed me. But calling to mind the love that He bore me, I took courage again. Of His mercy I never doubted once, but I did very often of myself.

O my God, I amazed at the hardness of my heart amidst so many succours from Thee. I am filled with dread when I see how little I could do with myself, and how I was clogged, so that I could not resolve to give myself entirely to God. When I began to read the Confessions, I thought I saw myself there described, and began to recommend myself greatly to this glorious Saint. When I came to his conversion, and read how he heard that voice in the garden, it seemed to me nothing less than that our Lord had uttered it for me: I felt so in my heart. I remained for some time lost in tears, in great inward affliction and distress. O my God, what a soul has to suffer because it has lost the liberty it had of being mistress over itself! and what torments it has to endure! I wonder now how I could live in torments so great: God be praised Who gave me life, so that I might escape from so fatal a death! I believe that my soul obtained great strength from His Divine Majesty, and that He must have heard my cry, and had compassion upon so many tears.”

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT11 – St. Teresa’s Transformative Moment – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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St. Teresa’s Transformative Moment – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 9 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography in part one of a two-part episode, starting with her transformative encounter with a statue of the wounded Christ. This pivotal moment leads to deep conversion as Teresa, tired of a dual life, experiences tears of compunction, realizing Christ’s sacrificial love.

Dr. Lilles highlights the method of prayer Teresa adopts, particularly the importance of using one’s imagination to picture Christ during prayer and using that as a connection to the remembrance of Christ and the transformative power of returning to moments of grace through prayer.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

How do external objects of devotion, like statues, aid your prayer life?
In what ways can spiritual exhaustion manifest in your own journey, hindering genuine peace in prayer?
Reflect on a moment when you felt spiritually vulnerable and encountered God’s love.
Consider Teresa’s commitment not to backslide. How can you maintain spiritual progress amidst life’s challenges?
Explore the role of tears in contrition and conversion. How has compunction (the gift of tears) played a part in your spiritual growth?
Reflect on your prayer methods. How does your imagination contribute to your encounters with Christ?
In what ways can you incorporate the remembrance of Christ into your daily prayer life for transformative effects?

An excerpt from Chapter 9, discussed in this episode:

“My soul was now grown weary; and the miserable habits it had contracted would not suffer it to rest, though it was desirous of doing so. It came to pass one day, when I went into the oratory, that I saw a picture which they had put by there, and which had been procured for a certain feast observed in the house. It was a representation of Christ most grievously wounded; and so devotional, that the very sight of it, when I saw it, moved me—so well did it show forth that which He suffered for us. So keenly did I feel the evil return I had made for those wounds, that I thought my heart was breaking. I threw myself on the ground beside it, my tears flowing plenteously, and implored Him to strengthen me once for all, so that I might never offend Him any more.

I had a very great devotion to the glorious Magdalene, and very frequently used to think of her conversion—especially when I went to Communion. As I knew for certain that our Lord was then within me, I used to place myself at His feet, thinking that my tears would not be despised. I did not know what I was saying; only He did great things for me, in that He was pleased I should shed those tears, seeing that I so soon forgot that impression. I used to recommend myself to that glorious Saint, that she might obtain my pardon.

But this last time, before that picture of which I am speaking, I seem to have made greater progress; for I was now very distrustful of myself, placing all my confidence in God. It seems to me that I said to Him then that I would not rise up till He granted my petition. I do certainly believe that this was of great service to me, because I have grown better ever since.”

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT10 – Into the Heart of Conversion – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Into the Heart of Conversion – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 8 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography, delving into her struggles with prayer and sin. The conversation emphasizes the courage required to persevere in prayer despite personal sinfulness, with St. Teresa stressing the transformative power of trusting in the Lord’s mercy for a profound conversion.

Dr. Lilles notes St. Teresa’s early articulation of themes found in later works, praising her unique writing style. They discuss the intrinsic link between prayer and sin, the significance of facing sins in God’s presence, and conclude by highlighting the transformative power of contemplative prayer amid life’s challenges.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

Prayer and Transformation: Reflect on how your personal prayer life has led to transformation in your own life, similar to St. Teresa of Avila’s experience.
Sin and Prayer: How do you balance the awareness of your sinfulness with the call to deeper prayer, as St. Teresa did?
Fear in Prayer: Have you experienced fear or reluctance in approaching prayer, and how have you overcome it?
The Role of Silence: Consider the role of silence in your prayer life. How does silence help you connect more deeply with God?
Friendship with Jesus: Reflect on the concept of mental prayer as “friendly intercourse” with Jesus. How does this perspective change your approach to prayer?
Perseverance in Prayer: Reflect on times when you found it challenging to persevere in prayer. What motivated you to continue?
Eucharistic Adoration: How does Eucharistic adoration fit into your spiritual life, and what fruits have you experienced from this devotion?
Confronting Sin through Prayer: How does prayer help you confront and deal with sin in your life?
The Impact of Homilies: Consider how homilies and teachings at Mass have influenced your prayer life and spiritual growth.
Seeing Jesus in Need: Reflect on the practice of visualizing Jesus in poverty and need, as suggested by St. Teresa. How does this affect your relationship with Him?

An excerpt from Chapter 8, discussed in this episode:

“It is not without reason that I have dwelt so long on this portion of my life. I see clearly that it will give no one pleasure to see anything so base; and certainly I wish those who may read this to have me in abhorrence, as a soul so obstinate and so ungrateful to Him Who did so much for me. I could wish, too, I had permission to say how often at this time I failed in my duty to God, because I was not leaning on the strong pillar of prayer. I passed nearly twenty years on this stormy sea, falling and rising, but rising to no good purpose, seeing that I went and fell again. My life was one of perfection; but it was so mean, that I scarcely made any account whatever of venial sins; and though of mortal sins I was afraid, I was not so afraid of them as I ought to have been, because I did not avoid the perilous occasions of them. I may say that it was the most painful life that can be imagined, because I had no sweetness in God, and no pleasure in the world.

When I was in the midst of the pleasures of the world, the remembrance of what I owed to God made me sad; and when I was praying to God, my worldly affections disturbed me. This is so painful a struggle, that I know not how I could have borne it for a month, let alone for so many years. Nevertheless, I can trace distinctly the great mercy of our Lord to me, while thus immersed in the world, in that I had still the courage to pray. I say courage, because I know of nothing in the whole world which requires greater courage than plotting treason against the King, knowing that He knows it, and yet never withdrawing from His presence; for, granting that we are always in the presence of God, yet it seems to me that those who pray arc in His presence in a very different sense; for they, as it were, see that He is looking upon them; while others may be for days together without even once recollecting that God sees them.”

Excerpt from Chapter 8 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT9 – Struggles with Prayer and Relationships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Struggles with Prayer and Relationships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”.

In this podcast episode, Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor focus on Chapter 7 and her spiritual journey and struggles. They discuss how Teresa’s illness led to a renewed connection with prayer and the discovery of St. Joseph’s devotion. The conversation highlights her difficulties with prayer due to distractions and the influence of negative relationships, particularly those not conducive to her religious life. A significant part of the discussion revolves around her relationship with her father and how this influenced her spiritual growth, leading to a deeper understanding of prayer and devotion amidst life’s challenges. The episode emphasizes the importance of dedicated prayer time and maintaining spiritual focus despite external distractions.

For more episodes in this series: The Life of St. Teresa of Avila; with Dr. Anthony Lilles

For an audio version of the book “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics, you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:

How can personal relationships impact our spiritual journey, as seen in St. Teresa’s life?
In what ways do struggles and challenges deepen our faith and prayer life?
How can we balance our spiritual commitments with our earthly responsibilities, similar to St. Teresa?
What insights can we gain from St. Teresa’s relationship with her father about honesty in our spiritual lives?
How does the concept of praying without ceasing apply to modern-day challenges?

An excerpt for Chapter 7, discussed in this episode:

“The reason why they thought I was not so wicked was this: they saw that I, who was so young, and exposed to so many occasions of sin, withdrew myself so often into solitude for prayer, read much, spoke of God, that I liked to have His image painted in many places, to have an oratory of my own, and furnish it with objects of devotion, that I spoke ill of no one, and other things of the same kind in me which have the appearance of virtue. Yet all the while—I was so vain—I knew how to procure respect for myself by doing those things which in the world are usually regarded with respect.

In consequence of this, they gave me as much liberty as they did to the oldest nuns, and even more, and had great confidence in me; for as to taking any liberty for myself, or doing anything without leave—such as conversing through the door, or in secret, or by night—I do not think I could have brought myself to speak with anybody in the monastery in that way, and I never did it; for our Lord held me back. It seemed to me—for I considered many things carefully and of set purpose—that it would be a very evil deed on my part, wicked as I was, to risk the credit of so many nuns, who were all good—as if everything else I did was well done! In truth, the evil I did was not the result of deliberation, as this would have been, if I had done it, although it was too much so.

Therefore, I think that it did me much harm to be in a monastery not enclosed. The liberty which those who were good might have with advantage—they not being obliged to do more than they do, because they had not bound themselves to enclosure—would certainly have led me, who am wicked, straight to hell, if our Lord, by so many remedies and means of His most singular mercy, had not delivered me out of that danger—and it is, I believe, the very greatest danger—namely, a monastery of women unenclosed—yea, more, I think it is, for those who will be wicked, a road to hell, rather than a help to their weakness. This is not to be understood of my monastery; for there are so many there who in the utmost sincerity, and in great perfection, serve our Lord, so that His Majesty, according to His goodness, cannot but be gracious unto them; neither is it one of those which are most open for all religious observances are kept in it; and I am speaking only of others which I have seen and known.”

Excerpt from Chapter 7 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

00:00-01:41: Introduction to the podcast
01:41-02:11: Dr. Lilles and McGregor discuss St. Teresa’s life.
02:11-04:25: Focus on a chapter in St. Teresa’s autobiography about her struggles with prayer and relationships.
04:25-06:53: Discussion on how personal relationships can impact one’s spiritual journey.
06:53-08:17: The importance of prayer in religious life and the challenges posed by external relationships.
08:17-10:35: Discussion on continuous prayer and balancing spiritual and earthly responsibilities.
10:35-13:30: The influence of friendships on spiritual growth.
16:02-18:31: Examination of St. Teresa’s relationship with her father and its impact on her spiritual life.
18:31-22:01: Detailed look at a pivotal conversation between St. Teresa and her father.
22:01-24:47: Reflections on accompanying someone at the time of death.
24:47-27:59: The significance of dedicated prayer time in different life stages.
27:59-30:44: Discussion on overcoming self-doubt and trusting in God’s love.
30:44-31:59: Closing reflections and encouragement for deep prayer.