st. teresa of avila Archives

BTP-LOT7 – Safeguarding the Spirit – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Safeguarding the Spirit – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles discusses cultivating healthy and fitting relationships, with a particular focus on their spiritual implications. Drawing from Chapter 5 of her autobiography, he uses the example of St. Teresa of Avila and how her spiritual journey was influenced by a priest engaged in an inappropriate relationship, underscoring the perils of developing emotional bonds that deviate from the appropriate roles individuals play in one’s life, such as priests, spiritual guides, or even spouses. A cautionary note is sounded against delving into magical or occult practices, as these can potentially expose one to spiritual malevolence.

The experience advocates for the assessment of relationships based on one’s primary responsibilities and caution against becoming excessively absorbed in another person; stressing the necessity of stepping back or ending a relationship if it hinders spiritual growth.

“I began, then, by going to confession to that priest of whom I spoke before.119 He took an extreme liking to me, because I had then but little to confess in comparison with what I had afterwards; and I had never much to say since I became a nun. There was no harm in the liking he had for me, but it ceased to be good, because it was in excess. He clearly understood that I was determined on no account whatever to do anything whereby God might be seriously offended. He, too, gave me a like assurance about himself, and accordingly our conferences were many. But at that time, through the knowledge and fear of God which filled my soul, what gave me most pleasure in all my conversations with others was to speak of God; and, as I was so young, this made him ashamed; and then, out of that great goodwill he bore me, he began to tell me of his wretched state. It was very sad, for he had been nearly seven years in a most perilous condition, because of his affection for, and conversation with, a woman of that place; and yet he used to say Mass. The matter was so public, that his honour and good name were lost, and no one ventured to speak to him about it. I was extremely sorry for him, because I liked him much. I was then so imprudent and so blind as to think it a virtue to be grateful and loyal to one who liked me. Cursed be that loyalty which reaches so far as to go against the law of God. It is a madness common in the world, and it makes me mad to see it. We are indebted to God for all the good that men do to us, and yet we hold it to be an act of virtue not to break a friendship of this kind, though it lead us to go against Him. Oh, blindness of the world! Let me, O Lord, be most ungrateful to the world; never at all unto Thee. But I have been altogether otherwise through my sins.

I procured further information about the matter from members of his household; I learned more of his ruinous state, and saw that the poor man’s fault was not so grave, because the miserable woman had had recourse to enchantments, by giving him a little image made of copper, which she had begged him to wear for love of her around his neck; and this no one had influence enough to persuade him to throw away. As to this matter of enchantments, I do not believe it to be altogether true; but I will relate what I saw, by way of warning to men to be on their guard against women who will do things of this kind. And let them be assured of this, that women—for they are more bound to purity than men—if once they have lost all shame before God, are in nothing whatever to be trusted; and that in exchange for the gratification of their will, and of that affection which the devil suggests, they will hesitate at nothing.

Though I have been so wicked myself, I never fell into anything of this kind, nor did I ever attempt to do evil; nor, if I had the power, would I have ever constrained any one to like me, for our Lord kept me from this. But if He had abandoned me, I should have done wrong in this, as I did in other things—for there is nothing in me whereon anyone may rely.”

Excerpt from Chapter 5 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.

BTP-LOT6 – Struggles with Sin and Patience – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Struggles with Sin and Patience – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles goes over how as a young adult, Teresa was already experiencing advanced favors in prayer and was practicing recollection. However, she was also struggling with sin and backsliding, which hindered her spiritual growth. She was inspired by a fellow sister who showed great patience in suffering, and asked God for the grace to have the same patience. Teresa’s journey was also marked by struggles with confessors who gave her bad counsel, downplaying the seriousness of her sins.

They also discuss the concept of fear of the Lord, explaining that it is not about fearing God as an angry tyrant, but understanding that sin is repugnant to God because it harms us and prevents us from fulfilling our purpose.

“I forgot to say how, in the year of my novitiate, I suffered much uneasiness about things in themselves of no importance; but I was found fault with very often when I was blameless. I bore it painfully and with imperfection; however, I went through it all, because of the joy I had in being a nun. When they saw me seeking to be alone, and even weeping over my sins at times, they thought I was discontented, and said so.

All religious observances had an attraction for me, but I could not endure any which seemed to make me contemptible. I delighted in being thought well of by others, and was very exact in everything I had to do. All this I thought was a virtue, though it will not serve as any excuse for me, because I knew what it was to procure my own satisfaction in everything, and so ignorance does not blot out the blame. There may be some excuse in the fact that the monastery was not founded in great perfection. I, wicked as I was, followed after that which I saw was wrong, and neglected that which was good.

There was then in the house a nun labouring under a most grievous and painful disorder, for there were open ulcers in her body, caused by certain obstructions, through which her food was rejected. Of this sickness she soon died. All the sisters, I saw, were afraid of her malady. I envied her patience very much; I prayed to God that He would give me a like patience; and then, whatever sickness it might be His pleasure to send, I do not think I was afraid of any, for I was resolved on gaining eternal good, and determined to gain it by any and by every means.”

Excerpt from Chapter 5 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT5 – Challenges in Suffering, Part 2 – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Challenges in Suffering, Part 2 – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles continues an overview of St. Teresa’s life and in particular, her struggles in finding good, spiritual literature.

“From the very beginning, God was most gracious unto me. Though I was not so free from sin as the book required, I passed that by; such watchfulness seemed to me almost impossible. I was on my guard against mortal sin—and would to God I had always been so!—but I was careless about venial sins, and that was my ruin. Yet, for all this, at the end of my stay there—I spent nearly nine months in the practice of solitude—our Lord began to comfort me so much in this way of prayer, as in His mercy to raise me to the prayer of quiet, and now and then to that of union, though I understood not what either the one or the other was, nor the great esteem I ought to have had of them. I believe it would have been a great blessing to me if I had understood the matter. It is true that the prayer of union lasted but a short time: I know not if it continued for the space of an Ave Maria; but the fruits of it remained; and they were such that, though I was then not twenty years of age, I seemed to despise the world utterly; and so I remember how sorry I was for those who followed its ways, though only in things lawful.

I used to labour with all my might to imagine Jesus Christ, our Good and our Lord, present within me. And this was the way I prayed. If I meditated on any mystery of His life, I represented it to myself as within me, though the greater part of my time I spent in reading good books, which was all my comfort; for God never endowed me with the gift of making reflections with the understanding, or with that of using the imagination to any good purpose: my imagination is so sluggish, that even if I would think of, or picture to myself, as I used to labour to picture, our Lord’s Humanity, I never could do it.

And though men may attain more quickly to the state of contemplation, if they persevere, by this way of inability to exert the intellect, yet is the process more laborious and painful; for if the will have nothing to occupy it, and if love have no present object to rest on, the soul is without support and without employment—its isolation and dryness occasion great pain, and the thoughts assail it most grievously. Persons in this condition must have greater purity of conscience than those who can make use of their understanding; for he who can use his intellect in the way of meditation on what the world is, on what he owes to God, on the great sufferings of God for him, his own scanty service in return, and on the reward God reserves for those who love Him, learns 22 how to defend himself against his own thoughts, and against the occasions and perils of sin. On the other hand, he who has not that power is in greater danger, and ought to occupy himself much in reading, seeing that he is not in the slightest degree able to help himself.”

Excerpt from Chapter 4 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT4 – Challenges in Suffering, Part 1 – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Discerning Hearts Podcast

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Challenges in Suffering, Part 1 – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they take a deep dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles continues an overview of St. Teresa’s life and in particular, the immense health struggles she faced while she was entering religious life.

“It is certainly true that very frequently the joy I have in that the multitude of Thy mercies is made known in me, softens the bitter sense of my great faults. In whom, O Lord, can they shine forth as they do in me, who by my evil deeds have shrouded in darkness Thy great graces, which Thou hadst begun to work in me? Woe is me, O my Maker! If I would make an excuse, I have none to offer; and I only am to blame. For if I could return to Thee any portion of that love which Thou hadst begun to show unto me, I would give it only unto Thee, and then everything would have been safe. But, as I have not deserved this, nor been so happy as to have done it, let Thy mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.

The change in the habits of my life, and in my food, proved hurtful to my health; and though my happiness was great, that was not enough. The fainting-fits began to be more frequent; and my heart was so seriously affected, that every one who saw it was alarmed; and I had also many other ailments. And thus it was I spent the first year, having very bad health, though I do not think I offended God in it much. And as my illness was so serious—I was almost insensible at all times, and frequently wholly so—my father took great pains to find some relief; and as the physicians who attended me had none to give, he had me taken to a place which had a great reputation for the cure of other infirmities. They said I should find relief there. That friend of whom I have spoken as being in the house went with me. She was one of the elder nuns. In the house where I was a nun, there was no vow of enclosure.

I remained there nearly a year, for three months of it suffering most cruel tortures—effects of the violent remedies which they applied. I know not how I endured them; and indeed, though I submitted myself to them, they were, as I shall relate,109 more than my constitution could bear.”

Excerpt from Chapter 4 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT3 – The Importance of Good Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Podcast

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The Importance of Good Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they take a deep dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles continues an overview of St. Teresa’s youth and how her spiritual life strengthened after she met a Nun, who influenced her decision to enter the religious life.

“I began gradually to like the good and holy conversation of this nun. How well she used to speak of God! for she was a person of great discretion and sanctity. I listened to her with delight. I think there never was a time when I was not glad to listen to her. She began by telling me how she came to be a nun through the mere reading of the words of the Gospel “Many are called, and few are chosen.” She would speak of the reward which our Lord gives to those who forsake all things for His sake. This good companionship began to root out the habits which bad companionship had formed, and to bring my thoughts back to the desire of eternal things, as well as to banish in some measure the great dislike I had to be a nun, which had been very great; and if I saw any one weep in prayer, or devout in any other way, I envied her very much; for my heart was now so hard, that I could not shed a tear, even if I read the Passion through. This was a grief to me.

I remained in the monastery a year and a half, and was very much the better for it. I began to say many vocal prayers, and to ask all the nuns to pray for me, that God would place me in that state wherein I was to serve Him; but, for all this, I wished not to be a nun, and that God would not be pleased I should be one, though at the same time I was afraid of marriage. At the end of my stay there, I had a greater inclination to be a nun, yet not in that house, on account of certain devotional practices which I understood prevailed there, and which I thought overstrained. Some of the younger ones encouraged me in this my wish; and if all had been of one mind, I might have profited by it. I had also a great friend in another monastery; and this made me resolve, if I was to be a nun, not to be one in any other house than where she was. I looked more to the pleasure of sense and vanity than to the good of my soul. These good thoughts of being a nun came to me from time to time. They left me very soon; and I could not persuade myself to become one.”

Excerpt from Chapter 3 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT2 – St. Teresa on Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles – Discerning Hearts Podcast

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St. Teresa on Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they take a deep dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles continues an overview of St. Teresa’s youth and experiences with friendships, both healthy and unhealthy.

“So it was with me; for I had a sister much older than myself, from whose modesty and goodness, which were great, I learned nothing; and learned every evil from a relative who was often in the house. She was so light and frivolous, that my mother took great pains to keep her out of the house, as if she foresaw the evil I should learn from her; but she could not succeed, there being so many reasons for her coming. I was very fond of this person’s company, gossiped and talked with her; for she helped me in all the amusements I liked, and, what is more, found some for me, and communicated to me her own conversations and her vanities. Until I knew her, I mean, until she became friendly with me, and communicated to me her own affairs—I was then about fourteen years old, a little more, I think—I do not believe that I turned away from God in mortal sin, or lost the fear of Him, though I had a greater fear of disgrace. This latter fear had such sway over me, that I never wholly forfeited my good name—and, as to that, there was nothing in the world for which I would have bartered it, and nobody in the world I liked well enough who could have persuaded me to do it. Thus I might have had the strength never to do anything against the honor of God, as I had it by nature not to fail in that wherein I thought the honor of the world consisted; and I never observed that I was failing in many other ways. In vainly seeking after it I was extremely careful; but in the use of the means necessary for preserving it I was utterly careless. I was anxious only not to be lost altogether.

This friendship distressed my father and sister exceedingly. They often blamed me for it; but, as they could not hinder that person from coming into the house, all their efforts were in vain; for I was very adroit in doing anything that was wrong. Now and then, I am amazed at the evil one bad companion can do,—nor could I believe it if I did not know it by experience,—especially when we are young: then is it that the evil must be greatest. Oh, that parents would take warning by me, and look carefully to this! So it was; the conversation of this person so changed me, that no trace was left of my soul’s natural disposition to virtue, and I became a reflection of her and of another who was given to the same kind of amusements. I know from this the great advantage of good companions; and I am certain that if at that tender age I had been thrown among good people, I should have persevered in virtue; for if at that time I had found any one to teach me the fear of God, my soul would have grown strong enough not to fall away. Afterwards, when the fear of God had utterly departed from me, the fear of dishonor alone remained, and was a torment to me in all I did. When I thought that nobody would ever know, I ventured upon many things that were neither honorable nor pleasing unto God.”

Excerpt from Chapter 2 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT1 – Introduction – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Podcast

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Introduction – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they begin this new series that takes a deep dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles begins a broad overview of how her autobiography came to be and begins an exposition into her younger years.

“As I have been commanded and left at liberty to describe at length my way of prayer, and the workings of the grace of our Lord within me, I could wish that I had been allowed at the same time to speak distinctly and in detail of my grievous sins and wicked life. But it has not been so willed; on the contrary, I am laid herein under great restraint; and therefore, for the love of our Lord, I beg of every one who shall read this story of my life to keep in mind how wicked it has been; and how, among the Saints who were converted to God, I have never found one in whom I can have any comfort. For I see that they, after our Lord had called them, never fell into sin again; I not only became worse, but, as it seems to me, deliberately withstood the graces of His Majesty, because I saw that I was thereby bound to serve Him more earnestly, knowing, at the same time, that of myself I could not pay the least portion of my debt.

May He be blessed forever Who waited for me so long! I implore Him with my whole heart to send me His grace, so that in all clearness and truth I may give this account of myself which my confessors command me to give; and even our Lord Himself, I know it, has also willed it should be given for some time past, but I had not the courage to attempt it. And I pray it may be to His praise and glory, and a help to my confessors; who, knowing me better, may succour my weakness, so that I may render to our Lord some portion of the service I owe Him. May all creatures praise Him forever! Amen.”

Excerpt from the Prologue from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT2 – St. Teresa on Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Podcast

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St. Teresa on Friendships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they take a deep dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles continues an overview of St. Teresa’s youth and experiences with friendships, both healthy and unhealthy.

Excerpt from Chapter 2 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-LOT1 – Introduction – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 26:28 — 18.3MB) | Embed

Introduction – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles

Excerpt from the Prologue from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”

Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila

For other audio recordings of various spiritual classics you can visit the Discerning Hearts Spiritual Classics page.

BTP-IC37 – Seventh Mansions Chapter 4 – The Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles Podcast

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In this episode, Dr. Lilles discusses the Seventh Mansions Chapter 4 of the “Interior Castle” which covers:

Concludes by describing what appears to be Our Lord’s aim in granting the soul such great favours and says how necessary it is for Martha and Mary to walk in each other’s company. This chapter is very profitable. You must not take it, sisters, that the effects which I have described as occurring in these souls are invariably present all the time; it is for this reason that, whenever I have remembered to do so, I have referred to them as being present “habitually”.

Sometimes Our Lord leaves such souls to their own nature, and when that happens, all the poisonous things in the environs and mansions of this castle seem to come together to avenge themselves on them for the time during which they have not been able to have them in their power. It is true that this lasts only for a short time — for a single day, or a little longer, at the most — and in the course of the ensuing turmoil, which as a rule is the result of some chance happening, it becomes clear what the soul is gaining from the good Companion Who is with it. For the Lord gives it great determination, so that it will on no account turn aside from His service and from its own good resolutions.

On the contrary, these resolutions seem to increase, and so the soul will not make the slightest move which may deflect it from its resolve. This, as I say, happens rarely, but Our Lord’s will is for the soul not to forget what it is — for one reason, so that it may always be humble; for another, so that it may the better realize what it owes to His Majesty and what a great favour it is receiving, and may praise Him.

St. Theresa of Avila. The Interior Castle or The Mansions (Kindle Locations 3169-3182). Kindle Edition.