SFTH-5 – Fighting the Good Fight – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode Five – Fighting the Good Fight – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff

Msgr. John Esseff reflects on his formative years growing up in a Lebanese Maronite Catholic family. He shares vivid stories of his early friendships formed around the church and school, highlighting how closely tied family, faith, and community life were in his upbringing. He recounts his experiences serving as an altar boy alongside his brother, being mentored by his father, and how boxing became both a defense mechanism and a metaphor for dealing with conflict. His early encounters with schoolyard hostility and physical altercations shaped his understanding of strength and protection, which he later came to see in a new light as he matured in his priestly identity.

Later in life, Msgr. Esseff realized that the combative instincts he was taught—though meant to protect—also delayed deeper human connections. He candidly discusses how those early lessons in self-defense influenced his relationships, even into seminary. A profound spiritual awakening led him to understand that the priesthood isn’t just a role but a call to be Christ to others. He expresses regret for the harm caused by a hardened attitude and explores how true formation comes not just through education but through learning to love as Christ does.

Reflection Questions

How has your upbringing influenced the way you respond to conflict and adversity today?
In what ways do you carry unresolved fear or anger from childhood into your adult relationships?
How do you understand the call to “be Christ” rather than just “do good” as a Christian?
Have you ever used your strengths or gifts in a way that may have hurt rather than healed others?
What does it mean to you to protect someone—not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally?
Are there relationships from your past that were delayed or damaged by pride or fear, and how might God be inviting you to revisit them?
How can you teach the children in your life not only how to defend themselves, but how to build bridges of friendship and understanding?
What experiences in your life have dulled or distorted your understanding of your baptismal identity?
How do you see St. Joseph as a model for guiding others with both strength and tenderness?
In what areas of your spiritual life do you still find yourself tempted to “fight back” instead of respond with love?

About the Series

In this deeply personal and spiritually rich podcast series, Msgr. John Esseff—renowned retreat master, confessor, and spiritual director—shares intimate stories of his remarkable life. Having encountered some of the most beloved and influential figures of the modern Church, including St. Teresa of Calcutta, St. Padre Pio, Pope St. John Paul II, and many others, Msgr. Esseff offers listeners a living memory of the Church’s heart in the 20th and 21st centuries. This series also explores his missionary work with the poor, his years of service through the Pontifical Missions, and the profound lessons drawn from hidden saints and everyday holiness.

SFTH-4 – Communion Found in the Little Things – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode Four – Communion Found in the Little Things – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff

Msgr. John Esseff and Kris McGregor explore the theme of discernment and the lifelong formation of a soul in relationship with God. One’s life is not defined solely by the present moment but by the totality of one’s journey, shaped by past experiences, cultural background, and the presence of God in each encounter. True discernment involves understanding both where a person has been and where God is calling them and the importance of seeing each human interaction as involving a divine third party. Awareness of God’s hand throughout one’s life—past, present, and future—is essential for spiritual growth.

Msgr. Esseff also shares vivid memories from his childhood growing up in a Maronite Catholic family in coal country Pennsylvania. He recalls spiritual moments of wonder—from giving away a dime to a stranger and feeling profound joy, to sensing God’s presence in nature and creation as a young boy. He speaks of his early and deep awareness of God’s presence, shaped by family, community, and the liturgical life of the Church. These formative experiences are not extraordinary but available to all who open their hearts to God’s nearness.

Reflection Questions

How does considering your whole life story, rather than just your present self, help you understand God’s plan for you?
In what ways do you see God present as the “third party” in your daily encounters with others?
Have you taken time to reflect on your past and how it has shaped your spiritual journey?
What cultural or familial influences have affected your view of God and others?
When have you most clearly felt God’s delight in you, and what were the circumstances?
How has your early family or community life impacted your experience of communion and faith?
Are there moments in creation where you have deeply sensed God’s presence?
What practices help you remain aware of God in the present moment?
How can you allow God to transform your past experiences into grace for the present?
What is one moment from your childhood where you now see God was especially near to you?

About the Series

SFTH-3 – A Grandmother’s Love, a Family’s Strength – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode Three – A Grandmother’s Love, a Family’s Strength – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff

Msgr. John Esseff reflects on the often overlooked yet deeply influential role of his grandmothers in shaping his family’s legacy. He shares how his paternal grandmother, Cecilia Oland, immigrated from Lebanon and never fully learned English, communicating primarily in Arabic with her grandchildren. Despite this, she expressed deep affection for Msgr. Esseff, even using a humorous Arabic endearment, which he later discovered translated to “my little garlic fart.” This affectionate, if unconventional, nickname highlighted the depth of love that transcends language barriers. He also recalls how his maternal grandmother endured significant hardships, including a harrowing multi-year return to Lebanon during World War I, illustrating the resilience and strength of these women in holding their families together through cultural displacement and adversity.

Msgr. Esseff reflects on the vital role of grandparents in family life, contrasting the rich, intergenerational bonds of his upbringing with the isolation often seen in modern nuclear families. He fondly recounts the close-knit dynamics of his family, where his grandmother’s nurturing presence extended beyond her immediate children to include her grandchildren, creating a deep sense of belonging and spiritual connection. This reflection leads him to appreciate the theological importance of grandparents in the broader context of family and faith, noting how this generational link provides a spiritual anchor that nourishes both personal and communal identity.

Reflection Questions

How have the stories of your grandparents shaped your understanding of family and faith?
In what ways can you cultivate deeper relationships with older family members as sources of wisdom and tradition?
How might the resilience of immigrant ancestors inspire your own faith journey?
What small, affectionate memories have you inherited that remind you of the importance of family love?
How can you honor the spiritual legacy of your grandparents in your daily life?
What role do you believe grandparents play in building a strong family foundation?
How can reflecting on your family history deepen your appreciation for the Communion of Saints?
In what ways can you be a spiritual anchor for future generations in your family?
How might the experiences of past generations influence your understanding of sacrifice and perseverance?
What lessons from your family’s past can you apply to your present faith life?

About the Series

SFTH-2 – Rooted in Faith – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode Two – Rooted in Faith – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff

Msgr. John Esseff reflects on his family’s deep roots in the Maronite Catholic tradition, tracing his lineage back to Lebanon. He shares how his grandparents immigrated to Pennsylvania, where distinct ethnic enclaves formed around coal mining towns like Wilkes-Barre. He describes his grandfather’s journey from Lebanon and the strong faith that shaped his upbringing and the significance of being baptized in the Maronite Rite, which maintains a continuous connection to the ancient Christian traditions and Aramaic language used by Jesus. This connection profoundly shaped his spiritual identity, grounding him in a lineage that extends back to the earliest days of the Church.

Msgr. Esseff also recounts the colorful and sometimes turbulent story of his parents’ marriage. His father, a hard-living truck driver, found faith after a men’s retreat, marking a pivotal turning point in his life. Despite their unconventional beginnings and the cultural tensions of their respective backgrounds, his parents maintained a steadfast marriage for 60 years. This legacy of faith, family, and resilience profoundly influenced his vocation as a priest, connecting him to the deep roots of his family’s spiritual heritage.

Reflection Questions

How does your family history influence your faith and sense of identity?
In what ways have your ancestors’ sacrifices shaped your spiritual journey?
What role does tradition play in grounding your faith today?
How can understanding your spiritual heritage deepen your relationship with God?
In moments of doubt, how can you draw strength from the legacy of faith passed down to you?
How does the idea of being grafted into a spiritual family tree resonate with your understanding of baptism?
What lessons can you learn from the way Msgr. Esseff’s parents overcame cultural and familial challenges?
How can you better appreciate the spiritual impact of your own baptism?
In what ways can your family’s story inspire your faith journey today?
How might reflecting on your spiritual roots renew your gratitude for the sacraments?

About the Series

SFTH-1 – The Beginning… – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff – Discerning Hearts Podcasts

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Episode One – The Beginning… – Stories from the Heart with Msgr. John Esseff

In this opening episode, Monsignor John Esseff shares the deeply personal story of his family’s immigration from Lebanon to America—fleeing persecution, carrying with them a rich Catholic faith, and planting deep roots in Pennsylvania.

He reflects on growing up in a multi-generational Maronite Catholic household, filled with faith, love, and quiet sacrifice. He honors his grandfather, a humble deacon and “ragman,” who lived a life of deep prayer and became a spiritual father to him. Through these early memories, we glimpse the formation of a heart destined for priesthood.

Msgr. Esseff’s family journey is not only a story of survival, but of grace passed down from heart to heart. This episode offers a powerful reminder: holiness often begins in the hidden places—around the family table, in acts of mercy, and in the quiet witness of those who love without measure.

Notable Quote

“There are so many canonized saints… but he’s my hero.”
— Msgr. John Esseff, speaking of his grandfather George Esseff

“What happens to us doesn’t define us—it’s how we respond that makes the difference.”

“The family is the most important unit in the world.”

Reflection Questions

How has your own family story—its joys and wounds—shaped your faith?
Who are the hidden saints in your life? Have you thanked God for them?
In what ways can your home become more like the Holy Family’s—rooted in prayer, simplicity, and service?
Are there old family wounds in need of forgiveness and healing?
How might God be calling you to pass on a living legacy of faith to future generations?

About the Series