The Transformation of Resentments – Discerning Hearts

Msgr. Esseff discusses to be truly alive in joy and happiness we have to forgive. Forgiveness is always a choice and in that is joy. We shouldn’t put conditions on our forgiveness…that can be a challenge for some, but it is necessary. We need to take the person where they are…we don’t love them because they have changed, but we love them where they are at. We can become slaves to our resentments. Resentments, hatred, bitterness, retaliations harden our hearts and destroy us. Allowing the love of Jesus to penetrate our hearts we are freed. We can not perfectly forgive, it is grace from the Father that allows to enter into that forgiveness.

The transformation of resentments is a key:

For ourselves

  1. To name them, the painful moment or event
  2. To look inside as to why and to what it touched so deeply within me
  3. To allow yourself to feel fully the depth of impact of the pain
  4. Talk to yourself about the experience and then begin to journal or share it with another
  5. Choose what will bring peace, joy, relief and tranquility
  6. To cling to continuation of pain brings anxiety, anger, turmoil and desolation

For another

  1. Listen to the painful experience
  2. Don’t talk to them out of their pain, don’t try to fix the situation for them
  3. Offer them a choice to continue in the pain or begin to move out of the pain; to continue in the pain gives the power over to the one they resent and diminishes your own power

Be sure to visit Msgr. Esseff’s website:  “Building a Kingdom of Love

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